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[Jun. 26th, 2007|07:26 pm] |
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its been over 3 months and ive barely improved. why am i still so in love with such an asshole? hes so willing to give up what an amazing bond even as friends we had for her. for nothing. i know after all the fucked up shit he put me through and all the mean, unnecessary things he told me to put me down hes going to realize shes not right for him and hes going to run back. the sad part of the whole thing is.. i probably will take him back. ugh. theyve been in a relationship for so short and they already have moer drama than him and i broke up for.. i dont get it.. dating her means his car gets keyed, tires slashed, and him not being able to be himself.. ugh.. why cant he just be a fucking man. why am i still in love with such a prick |
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| fuck love |
[May. 4th, 2007|10:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | of montreal | ] |
I felt like we would never end. Now he is done and bored with me and im left in the dust. Its been a month since the breakup and i have never felt so used and humiliated. i gave in to the temptation numerous times and now im just even more hurt. Especially since he has moved on to another girl. its been a month!! holy fuck. i guess each week gets easier and easier but ugh, do i still miss him like mad. And to think hes doing the same shit he did with me with another girl literatly makes me sick. Im just a girl still in love knowing whats happening between them. its hard going throughout the day without breaking down and i just want this to blow over. i need to be at the point in my life where i realize that what we had was wonderful, but he isnt right for me. But, im stuck thinking hes too perfect for me and ill never find anyone else like him. ive just never felt pain like this and i dont know what to do anymore to help it. |
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| 1 year |
[Nov. 30th, 2006|12:28 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the decemberists- the sporting life | ] |
1 year of everything i could have imagined for. mm it feels soo good.
first we went to the arcade like 5th graders and tore shit up.
then hibachi...
then a drive- in movie. it was fucking cool as hell.
oh and i hate school.
and im so excited for christmas.
annnddd... i have no friends. which fucking sucks. why do people always have to change |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 30th, 2006|11:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | new elysia | ] |
you know how your used to going to bed at like 2 or 3 in the morning... and when the first day of school rolls around your just sittin up doin nothing because you cant fuckin sleep? ya. this entry was 100% pointless. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|01:17 am] |
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i dont know what to do. i am madly in love with someone who controls my life and treats me how i dont deserve to be treated. |
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| prom |
[May. 21st, 2006|11:01 pm] |
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ahh i guess i will just add to the many entries about prom. yes it was amazing. pretty much everything went right. the biggest downer was probably the dj. i really wasnt feeling his style. but whatev. of course after was amazing too. 3 bedroom suite with close friends and david. mmm it was nice. everyone looked pretty. very bright dresses. hope everyone had a great time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 20th, 2006|03:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | underneath the gun | ] |
Mmmmm. I'm just as in love as i was 5 months ago... and it feels amazing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|11:10 pm] |
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| |  sick | ] |
There are 10 pistols sitting in front of you, one which is loaded. Someone offers you 1 million dollars to pick one up, point it at your forehead, and pull the trigger. Would you do it? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 9th, 2006|04:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  lazy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | odd project- tear stained lies | ] |
my grades right now are the shittiest they have ever been in my whole life. i dont even want to go into detials of what they are. i didnt think i would get a progress report until i just decided to check and find a heart attack in an enevelope. so of course i take it out then drive to my pops to get it out of his mailbox too. if any of them would have found it before me i wouldnt have seen the light of day for years. i even have an amazing incentive to get good grades but still i dont seem to take advantage of it.
im going to minnesota to see janelle over spring break. i hope its fun because i am missing two amazing shows to go. one i already have tickets for. which i have to sell. so if you want a between the buried and me ticket for the first of april with bleeding through and every time i die, let me know or ill find someone else to sell it to.
hmm finally found a job sortaa. actually it found me. but i cant tell my dad cause he wont let me get a job. he think it will affect my schoolwork too much. hes weird. i now teach 11 year old hows to play soccer. it has gotten more frustrating than i thought it would.
teras coming out this weekend and for the next whole week. this shall be interesting!! but im happy to see her.
i hate tournaments. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2006|09:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | job for a cowboy- knee deep | ] |
whoah what a weekend. i went snowboarding with a crap load of people. that was fun. it was a bit crowded for my taste but i got over it. i am soar as hell though. i missed my dream show saturday to go snowboarding but i figured it was worth it after finding out david broke his nose at the show. so there was blood everywhere and he missed the 3 best bands. i guess the pit got a bit too crazy. snowboarding definitely beats seeing him in agony, but im still really sad i wasnt able to be there for him.
i also was with janelle the whole weekend. it was cool, i guess....
im watchin the bachelor. its funny how all these girls can talk about are these guys looks. hm.
i need to start doing my homework.. |
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